When I first became a wedding celebrant I immediately felt the need to create a ceremony for my couples which was perfect in every way. And then, after doing a few weddings I realised something. I realised that a wedding is part of life … and often, no matter how much you plan and prepare, the inevitable happens – life. Life isn’t always perfect. Life is full of moments of imperfection – some larger than others. And yet, somehow, despite the imperfections that occur, it’s perfect the way it is.
Looking back at the weddings I’ve been the celebrant at, I’ve noticed that it’s often those weddings in which so-called imperfections occur, which turn out to be the most interesting, quirky, fun, relaxed, authentic and memorable. Once, for example, a little girl dropped her mum’s wedding ring down the front of her dress. There was a delay in us getting the rings and continuing with the ceremony, but there were these gorgeous moments of utter cuteness where we all got to be patient and to really just be in the moment as and how it was occurring. It was one of those times for me which will always make that particular wedding even more memorable. I loved it.
At another wedding where I was the celebrant, when I asked the groom how he was doing before the ceremony he said, “I just want everything to go smoothly.” It felt inevitable that something unexpected was going to come up. I said to him, “Don’t worry, whatever happens, it will be awesome.” Funny enough, minutes later, setting up my PA system (which was brand new at the time and had only been used twice), I found my mic wasn’t working. I tried everything. Nothing worked. I eventually asked if there were any techies in the crowd – even she couldn’t get it working. As it later transpired, a wire had come loose inside the mic and it had to be sent for repair. Fortunately I had a lapel mic in my kit so, although it may not have looked a little funny, with the couple speaking into a tiny little mic, the ceremony was still heard by everyone. (Since then I keep a spare mic as backup).
At many of the weddings I’ve officiated at the couples have had to really work to get the ring onto their partner’s finger. Again, even if they’ve put powder or vaseline on the inside of the rings as I suggest, this can still happen. You may have noticed that your feet get slightly bigger and more swollen at certain times of the day and in certain weather. Fingers do too!
Look, I’m not saying don’t aim for perfection – by all means do what you can to have it be perfect, (and I will too), but if you’re then also able to let go on the day and be with whatever occurs, you’ll have a much higher chance of actually enjoying your day. And at the end of the day, that’s all your friends and family want for you more than anything – for you to be happy and to really enjoy yourself. After all, what kind of wedding day would it be if everything went perfectly and was perfect on the outside but you were all stressed and anxious on the inside?
Now it’s your turn: Was your wedding perfect? If so, what made it perfect?